Image: Instagram/Ciara
The discourse regarding singer Ciara and her decision to move on from a seemingly toxic relationship with rapper Future to a loving stable one with professional football player Russell Wilson has been ongoing. However, my interest lies in the debate. Men seemingly think Ciara or any other woman in a similar situation is settling for Russel. However, what they don’t seem to get is that Russell is exactly what women want.
The Glamorization of Struggle Love
Listen to almost any Future or The Weekend song and you will quickly understand the mindset of so many men in today’s society. It is very ‘If I can’t have you no one else should’ or ‘Stick by me while I figure stuff out’ and I’m sorry, but I have to laugh. There is an entitlement and an expectation for women to be pawns in their lives. The amount of cheating and toxicity that occurs openly nowadays is alarming. One example would be, rappers Cardi B and Offset. It came out that Offset cheated on Cardi several times and aside from some choice words, Cardi decided to stay. However, their most recent struggle with infidelity came from offset blaming Cardi for cheating which she denied. You can read all about the situation here on People. Offset’s reaction took a lot of people off guard because of how much he embarrassed and disrespected Cardi over the years. The entitlement that came when he thought she was cheating, despite the fact that he actually has, several times was comical. It’s the ongoing entitlement that men have, believing that women should accept any toxicity that they give with a smile. It’s like they believe they are such a prize that they can do whatever, and women should still be kissing their feet.
However, because of women like Cardi who stay, (and no judgment to her or her situation, she is a grown woman), these men see that as the standard. They see some women are willing to put up with that and then are taken aback when a woman like Ciara decides to walk away.
Nice Guys Finish First
Society is slowly normalizing toxicity, abuse, and infidelity. However, despite the many people putting up with that, it would be hard to find a group of people who would actually prefer it. A lot of people stay in those relationships because they believe it’s what they deserve or are scared to be alone. That doesn’t take away from the fact that if their partner treated them like Russel Williams rather than Future, they wouldn’t object. To have a partner who is attentive, caring, nurturing, and loyal is the ultimate dream for so many. The struggle love gets so exhausting and at a certain point, one just wants to be loved. It takes a lot of self-work and life experience to encounter your Russel and to be ready to put your best foot forward. That is why constant self-improvement is key. The better you feel about yourself, the better your options will get.
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