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In SZA we trust
Denial: Garden (Say It Like Dat)
Now hear me out. Although SZA is technically referring to a love that may be able to finally lift her off her feet, it perfectly describes the falling in love and trust that comes with a relationship. So, when you aren’t ready to accept that it’s over, you cling to the good times even through all the bad. “Hoping I’ll never find out you’re anyone else, ’cause I love you just how you are.”
Anger: I Hate U
Anger (Cheating involved): Forgiveless (feat. Ol’ Dirty Bastard)
If you know these songs then this is pretty self-explanatory. I Hate You perfectly captures that feeling of anger and hatred but also knowing that the love runs deep and you can’t hate them no matter how much you try. “Heavy on the “missing you” wishing shit was different than what it was.”
Now, if you are blasting Forgiveless, I’m so sorry friend. This song is the ultimate F you but also gives you that feeling of “It’s their loss.” Finding out you’ve been cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world, but you can find solace in the fact that you now know who this person is (shitty) and you can take your fine self elsewhere. “I thought I told you before it’s not gon’ end how you want/ Not in the dark anymore/ I might forgive it, I won’t forget it.”
Bargaining: Nobody Gets Me
Ah, the bargaining stage. I know you’re vulnerable here. Maybe you’re thinking “We can get through this.” Maybe even trying out couples therapy. The mixed emotions of the song perfectly describe the bargaining stage. From “I don’t wanna see you with anyone but me/ Nobody gets me like you” to “You was feelin’ empty, so you left me/ Now I’m stuck dealing with a dead beat.” You may start to backslide out of fear during this stage, but you eventually realize you are broken up for a reason.
Depression: Special
Say what you want about this song, but it’s perfect for the depression stage. It may sound cringy but the truth is, these are the inner dialogues many of us have after a breakup. “I gave all my special away to a loser/ Now I’m just a loser.” It’s not very ‘girl boss’ to admit it, but breakups can tear you apart, and this song will be there for you when you’re ready to cry about it.
Acceptance stage 1: Smoking On My Ex Pack
Acceptance stage 2: Far
There are two stages for acceptance because in my experience there are two. The first is acceptance, but there is resentment there. You are happy in spite of them. “You hatin’ from nosebleeds I wish you well” You don’t actually wish them well at this stage, but you aren’t crying anymore so that’s a plus.
The second stage is less about the person and more about what you learned from the experience. It’s about your growth. It still hurts, but you are really starting to heal at this point. “Stressed me out and turned me out, it’s all back now/ I remember when I was so burnt out/ I’d rather that than be your enemy, ready to let it go.”
Indifferent (Bonus stage): Low
Even though there isn’t technically another stage, I thought I’d add the indifference stage because it’s my favorite. One of my favorite quotes I’ve ever heard is, “The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.” Once you hit this stage, you’re free! You aren’t in love anymore, but you don’t hate them either. You’re just on some new shit. Now I must admit, for a lot of women this also marks the beginning of the hoe phase. Low perfectly encapsulates this. Two of my favorite lyrics are “I’m moving selfish calling all my favorite hoes” and “If you see me out in public you don’t know me keep it silent.” Enough said.
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